And if you’re sex life has dropped off to just so-so – or worse – then you’re really looking for ways to have better sex.
But you’re not looking for anything too wild and crazy, or for anything that really requires the flexibility of a twenty year old.
Just natural ways to have better sex – at your age, that still make you feel comfortable.
That’s where these eight tips for having better sex in 2016 – and beyond – come in!
1. Break out of the rut. Let’s be honest – if you’re here, reading this article, then you probably aren’t 100% fine with your current sex life and are looking to boost your sex life. That’s okay! But part of improving your sex life is admitting whatever you’ve been doing isn’t working any longer. You’re not alone. In theory, the longer a couple is together, the more adventurous they will become in bed. After all, you know each other, you trust each other, it should be easier to suggest new things and venture out of the ordinary. But that’s theory. In reality, the longer couples are together, the less adventurous they become. You do learn each other’s likes and dislikes. It becomes easy to take the short cut you know is going to work, rather than the long, less explored route.
Specific Suggestions: Go to an adult store together (online is fine!) and buy a toy that intrigues you both. Read an erotic novel or watch an erotic movie together. Try a new position, or new room in the house.
2. Find a change of scenery. When you’re at home, it’s easy to be distracted by the little things that make up everyday life. You know where you aren’t looking at the laundry that needs folding, or your current to-do list, or even the pictures of your grandkids? At a hotel. There’s a reason newlyweds go away their first few nights together. A hotel is inherently romantic. And don’t think going to a hotel means a sleazy hourly place, either. Splurge a little – or a lot – because having better sex is worth it.
Specific Suggestions: Pack a bag and make a reservation for a night or two at the best hotel in town within your budget. But don’t just pack clothes. Pack a candle and a bottle of wine, as well. Then put the “do not disturb” sign on the door for a few hours.
3. Think pleasure, not perfection. One of the easiest ways to boost your sex life is to stop worrying about having it at all. Take the emphasis off of penetration and orgasm. Stop worrying about how hard you can get for how long. Instead, pay attention to what’s feeling good in the moment. Sensual is as important as sexual, so let that be your priority.
Specific Suggestions: Take penetrative sex off the table completely for a night or two. Then get naked and touch, caress, feel, taste, enjoy. Rediscover that she’s delighted by a soft touch at the back of her knee. Remember how you respond when you breathe in the smell of her hair. Whatever it is that the two of you enjoy – enjoy it. Without the pressure of performance.
4. Prioritize – and anticipate. Don’t think of sex as another item on you to-do list. In fact, don’t think of sex as a singular event at all. First, put it on the calendar. Sure, scheduling sex may seem unromantic – at first. But remember when you were first dating? How much you enjoyed looking forward to the next time you would see each other? Carry that feeling of anticipation and excitement with you now.
Specific Suggestions: If your calendar allows, don’t just schedule sex, schedule a date night. Make reservations somewhere. Spend a little time planning on what you’ll wear. Regardless of if you’ve scheduled sex or an entire date night, the morning of, start thinking about the evening. Send each other text messages. Whisper in each other’s ear. Let your hand linger on her shoulder or hip throughout the day. Then don’t reschedule for anything!
5. Pay attention to your bedroom. Most people make love in their bedrooms, and that really is fine. But to have even better sex, pay some attention to the room you’re most likely to get frisky in! You don’t have to get crazy with mirrors and leopard print (unless you want to – at which point, go for it!) but do try to bring a little romance to the space.
Specific Suggestions: At the very least, turn off the overhead light and turn on your bedside lamp – the dimmer light will automatically make the room more romantic. Keep candles and a lighter or matches in your room – just never leave them unattended, and be sure to blow them out before you fall asleep! Make sure there’s a way to play your favorite music. And, of course, try to minimize clutter.
6. Remember to have fun. For too many people, sex is serious business – and that’s a shame. You will have better sex instantly if you remember this one thing: it’s fun. Hopefully, the person you’re with is a friend, as well as a lover. Enjoy each other.
Specific Suggestions: Be playful. If something doesn’t work, or makes a noise, or sags in the wrong way, laugh about it. Just be sure you are laughing with each other and not at each other. It’s a vital distinction.
7. Look in your medicine cabinet. If your libido has dropped recently, check your prescriptions. Many medications cause both physical and psychological side effects that could impact your sex life.
Specific Suggestions: Whenever you start a new medication or supplement, talk to your doctor, pharmacist, or health care provider and ask about sexual side effects. Even if you’ve been taking a medication for a while, it never hurts to double check.
8. Don’t be afraid to get help. If you are hoping to have better sex, for whatever reason, it’s perfectly acceptable to get assistance. It’s the 21st century and there are more options available than ever before. Don’t be embarrassed, and don’t live with a lackluster sex life.
Specific Suggestions: Talk to your doctor to make sure there’s nothing going on physically that’s affecting your sex life. Try supplements, like Prime Power, that are specifically designed to enhance performance, desire, and stamina.
You can have better sex in 2016 – in eight easy steps! Make this year a year to remember.